Psalm 91

 ¹ He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
       will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. ^[a]

 ² I will say ^[b] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
       my God, in whom I trust."

 ³ Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
       and from the deadly pestilence.

 ⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
       and under his wings you will find refuge;
       his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

 ⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
       nor the arrow that flies by day,

 ⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
       nor the plague that destroys at midday.

 ⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
       ten thousand at your right hand,
       but it will not come near you.

AMEN

Why do days seems so hard to get through when one lacks sleep?

I personally  know so many people that seem to function and function well on 4 hours of sleep. I am a big whiny baby if I don't have at least 6 consistent hours.

Jessie started waking during the night a few weeks ago when his molars where coming in, when he had previously slept through the night.
 Jessie is turning 2years old next month on the 21th of May. I don't know how to get him sleeping through the night again or if it is just his age or what. I am ready to move his crib out of our bedroom.
I am having a difficult day between lack of sleep and this crazy allergy attack. I finally broke down and went to the drug store. I am now taking loratidine and pseudophedrine, I pray it helps my head feel better because presently the pressure feels unbearable. My 20 minute nap did not make me feel rested but I no longer feel like I am going to just drop either.

It has been sunny and really hot all week. Today is our first taste of rain in a long time. Maybe the pollen will abate for a few days of calm??

I sit here wondering if I should have taken the medicine. It says non-drowsy. I pray that doesn't mean I will be up in the middle of the night wide awake.

• Working as of late to really remember who we are and where we are heading.

How easy it is  to be mislead and misdirected even by well meaning folk.
Having discussions of whether or not children are equipped to be solders for Christ. Salt and light when they are not yet rooted and grounded in their faith.
Being indoctrinated in humanism 8 plus hours per day. I did a study and found out the point of public schools was to teach all children to be socialist and not have a mind of their own.
To reach them early before they have a chance of faith to rub off on to them. I did not grow up a a Christian so my thoughts and prayers appear to be different from many I know or meet.

I am needing to allow my special needs child to receive special services from the public school system. Which I am okay with especially since they are paid for by my spouses hard earned taxes.

• Never underestimate the power of prayer!

I want to Thank God for answering small and large prayers here and there. I have been praying consistently since January for my husband(R.) to return to God. He has been taking his family ( the children and I) to church for a month now. We have been in marriage counseling with our pastor. We have been communicating better than we have in at least a decade. I am continuing to pray about it. R and I are best friends again! I am praying also for my children. Especially the older ones. That the years of dysfunction ,God will heal and erase from there hearts, and restore what the moths and locust have eaten. Remove anger and anything from their hurts that may separate them from God.
We are still praying for Samuel to continue to grow new strong healthy bones and teeth. He has new teeth coming in and so far they appear to be healthy.
Daniel is autistic, we are praying for God to repair his brain in areas that are damaged or chemically imbalanced. Also we have been directed to support groups. I am trying to work attending a few with R so we may undere homestand how to live with our son better and have less stress in th.

• I have recently finished a bible study on Ephesians. This is the first time that I felt I identified with Paul. I think I really understand where he was coming from and who he was trying to teach us to be in Christ. I really love the book of Ephesians.

^{Ephesians 1:17}I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit^[f] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. ¹⁸I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, ²⁰which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, ²¹far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. ²²And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, ²³which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.
Ephesians 4: ¹⁷So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. ¹⁸They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. ¹⁹Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.

 ²⁰You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. ²¹Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. ²²You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

 ²⁵Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ²⁶"In your anger do not sin"^[d]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷and do not give the devil a foothold. ²⁸He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

 ²⁹Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³²Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

• I am prioritizing life again. I know I can not do it all. I have been given permission to request what I need, for some reason I don't want others to feel as swamped as I do. But I am realizing in more than theory but in practicum, many hands do make light work for all. More things get done leaving more time to enjoy one another. I remember my childhood as one of two children. We worked very hard and it built character in my sister and I . I need to make my children work harder so I don't raise up a lazy generation of people who are self absorbed. So reteaching and chore charts here we come.

• I am remembering to start the day with praising God even when I can't sit to read my bible.

Praising G-d in this new year.
Working hard at knowing Christ in a more intimate way and putting on gratitude and contentment.
Thanking G-d for my circumstances and what HE wants to teach me through it all.

Psalm 104:34 (New Living Translation)

 ³⁴ May all my thoughts be pleasing to him,
      for I rejoice in the Lord.

I believe part of my depression had been caused by my feelings of loneliness exacerbated by self-pity. I think I had become ungrateful  and not content with what the Lord has given me. I think I indirectly blamed G-d. Feeling that he had left me and did not hear my prayers for myself. I felt I could pray for others and I saw HIM moving often and quickly  but could not believe for myself in some areas. I am finding I must constantly counter this elfish tendency toward self pity. I must learn gratefulness and contentment in my particular circumstances.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (New Living Translation)

¹⁸ Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

G-d wants me to go against my feelings and follow HIS spirit. Reminding myself of His goodness towards me. Realize I am never really alone!

Hebrews 13:5 (King James Version)

 ⁵Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Psalm 143:5-6 (New International Version)

 ⁵ I remember the days of long ago;
       I meditate on all your works
       and consider what your hands have done.

 ⁶ I spread out my hands to you;
       my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
       Selah

Psalm 73:25-28 (New International Version)

 ²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
       And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

 ²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
       but God is the strength of my heart
       and my portion forever.

 ²⁷ Those who are far from you will perish;
       you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

 ²⁸ But as for me, it is good to be near God.
       I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
       I will tell of all your deeds.

Lamentations 3:25 (New International Version)

 ²⁵ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
       to the one who seeks him;

Hebrews 12:2 (New International Version)

²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Psalm 104:34 (New International Version)

 ³⁴ May my meditation be pleasing to him,
       as I rejoice in the LORD.

Friday night, My daughters and I traveled ;what should have been a 45 minute drive(turned 1 hour and 40 minute drive), to another town, out in the middle of nowheresville; to watch my son's basketball team play against First Assembly Christian school. I quickly got over the major detours and the extended travel in slow traffic and snow. (People in our area creep through snow, but speed across black ice and hydroplane in the rain??).
So we walk in and I have a seat at the bottom bleachers. My daughters find their friends and go off to sit with them. The game was okay. We came in at the end of first period and the beginning of the second. I watched and cheered and screamed and cheered. {Balls came towards me a few times due to my location.} That was not a problem.
The problem or what made me so irate was taunting from the opposing . They appeared to go totally unnoticed by the referees,their coaches and their parents.

We have an autistic ball player that behaves obviously different. Our players have never treated him different. He was just one of the guys when he ran cross country. He is now just one of the guys on our basketball team. All of our people parents,students alike, cheer him on. If he gets distracted we encourage him to watch the ball or get in the game. He got distracted a few times and played with the bottom of his shorts and once with his short strings. Our team encouraged him. I heard someone from their team call him a retard and I saw a player mocking him playing with his shorts and making a goofy face. This action was during the game. I became really disgusted and told a father beside me, that was really unsportsmanlike conduct!! He agreed!

 During half time their cheerleaders did a few cheers. I watched their coaches and the refs.  I think I expected to see a few of the player spoken to by the coaches or refs but  I did not see that. Okay they missed them. Maybe the did not see? I do not know. I was sorely disappointed and brokenhearted at that very moment.
Game goes on. We are losing by a lot. It's okay.  I felt during the game that to many calls were missed by the refs. Okay fine. Game goes on. 
By the way :THERE WERE 3 REFS!
Okay I am over the ugliness by one player. He is just immature. Sometimes refs miss things okay.
Last straw. We are quickly approaching the end of game, last 30 seconds, opposing team has the ball and they are running down the clock. What are they doing? Making goofy faces and essentially playing keep away with the ball and throwing the ball like something is wrong with them. It was obvious teasing and taunting. Once again I expected the 3 refs or their coach to say something or do something. After all we are supposed to be 2 Christian school teams playing one another. That was very poor representation amongst the children,parents, and coaches. I was ready to leave quickly. I did not know what to say or think of their conduct. If those were my children I would have made them publicly apologize, since the offense was public.

I promised G-d, that in  2010 I would not fall easily into depression, I will count my blessings daily, I will not be easily swayed away from the job he has set before me.

Thursdays Blessings:
I am alive.
We, DH and myself and the children are ALL well.
DH has a paying job.
We have a home.
We have a car.
The children, for the most part, get along.
I am caught up on laundry.
I have lost some weight. I watch what I eat and have stopped eating when I am not hungry.

I must go to bed now. So I can wake early to catch up on my bible study reading.

1. Respect the Image of God in the Other Person. [ Your spouse may not always allow God's image to shine and bless your marital relationship, but he or she was originally created that way (see Genesis 1:26), and deep within, there are at least remnants in there somewhere.

If you can't immediately see God's image within your spouse, ask God to help you to see with His eyes, rather than yours, and then search for them as if looking for gold.

As author Gary Smalley said, "How would you treat your spouse if you saw them as being autographed by God?" Would you value them more? Would you try harder to understand and help them? Respect the image of God in your spouse and see what God can do in and through the efforts you put forth. You will be blessed for it by God Himself.

"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another, be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing" (1 Peter 3:8-9).]

2. Remember That God Has Given You a Gift in Your Spouse. [Some gifts bring immediate joy and others enrich our lives in ways that we don't immediately see or appreciate — others bring both immediate and eventual benefits. This can be true of your spouse.  You may love him or her right from the start, which brings you immediate joy, yet once the honeymoon stage is over you wonder what good you could ever enjoy in your relationship again. But God can use even those times to move us to grow stronger in character, which will bring eventual benefits.

"Marriage is not a lifeless institution! Nor does it simply contain the lives of the male and female who enter into it. Marriage is a vehicle, fueled by the life of God. It has a driver — the Holy Spirit. It has a destination — the character of Jesus Christ" (Dr Tony and Kim Moore, from the book, "Your Spouse is not Your Problem").

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4).

3. Love Always Means Sacrifice. [Jesus Himself set the example for us all in laying down His life for us. "Be imitators of God, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God" (Ephesians 5:1-2).

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21). Ask yourself how you you can apply these verses in your marriage.]

4. Relinquish Your Rights. [That's a really tough one, especially in today's "me first" world, because we can get lured into thinking that our "rights" and our happiness is what's most important. But Jesus Christ also lived in a tough world and still, He gave up His rights for the betterment of others, including you and your spouse. It is an example for us all to follow.

Read Philippians 2:5-8 and in it you can see where Christ Himself, who had every right there ever could be to put Himself first, emptied Himself of all that would stand in the way of showing His love for us, to the glory of God. We're told to have this same attitude. In doing so, others around will notice that the love you show isn't like that which the "world" gives.

"Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us" (1 Peter 2:12).]

5. Let Each Esteem the Other Better Than Him or Herself. [This is an area that we really see lacking in most married couples. Philippians 2:3-4 says to "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should not look only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

That's a tough thing to do. It comes natural to want to put my  interests above my husband's. But it goes back to remembering that God has entrusted me to be His colleague in showing love to my husband. That doesn't mean that I'm to erase my own opinions or interests. But it does mean that I'm not to let my own selfish ambitions take over and erase or downplay the importance of his. In God's economy, I'm to value my spouse's needs over my own.]

Every one of these “commandments” are difficult to carry out. But they are worth the results if you take them seriously. It’s like what John Burke said in the Foreword of the book, “Just How Married Do Your Want to be?” He said,

“Marriage is easy… if you’re a perfect person married to another perfect person! For the rest of us imperfect people, marriage feels a lot more like God’s Gym. We all want health and fitness and loving strength, but as we soon realized after getting married nineteen years ago, this doesn’t come without training and hard work. Most couples today put more effort into staying in shape physically than training to be a partner that can make love last.”

We pray you will put forth more effort in making your marriage as healthy as it can be than in anything else that could distract you from this noble cause. Because marriage is a living picture of Christ’s love for the church to a world that needs to know His resurrection power, it is worth every effort you put into it to show your faith and love in action. In doing so, you are communicating the Gospel with and without words.

“Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 1:5-8).

6.  PRAY FOR EACH OTHER — PRAY and WITH EACH OTHER. [We aren't only to pray together at meal times.That's important, but as we pray for and with each other at various times, our relationship grows all the more deeper. God has a way of uniting us all the more as we pray together.

"There's nothing that makes us love someone as much as prayer for him" (William Law).

"Prayer changes things because God answers prayer. Everyone knows couples ought to pray for one another —but many actually do it. "

That sounds simplistic, because we know of people who have been praying and crying their hearts out for years, and they have seen little change …YET! We say YET because we've seen positive changes in other's lives —which gives hope. But we also say YET because you never know what God is still going to do.

It may be that you need to P.U.S.H. —in which you: Pray Until Something Happens. ) If that means that you P.U.S.H. for one day, 14 days, or 14 years.

"Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4).

The prayer in which this book and the web site challenge you to pray is simple, yet profound. Husbands, here is what you would pray:

"Father I said 'til death do us part' —I want to mean it.
Help me to love you more than her
and more than anyone or anything else.
Help me to bring her into your presence today.
Make us one, like you are three-in-one.
I want to hear her, cherish her, and serve her
so she would love you more
and we can bring you glory. Amen."

Wives, here is what you would pray:

"Father, I said 'til death do us part' —I want to mean it.
Help me to love you more than him
and more than anyone or anything else.
Help me to bring him into your presence today.
Make us one, like you are three-in-one.
I want to hear him, support him, and serve him
so he would love you more
and we can bring you glory. Amen"

I hope you will take up the challenge (and don't end it in just 14 days). Pray FOR each other and WITH each other and see what GOD will do.]

7. NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY. [See Ephesians 4:26-27 and Psalm 4:4, where God tells you to do this. We all need reminders not to allow bitterness to take root (see: Hebrews 12:14-15). Hopefully your husband or wife will agree with you to live out this "commandment" for the health of your relationship.

If he/she won't, ask God to help YOU to do what you can, so bitterness doesn't take root in your own heart. Keep in mind the saying "Anytime we reconcile, it's a picture of what God wants to do with man."

Love aims at unity (it's a great goal to TRY to aim for). "Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5).]

8. WHENEVER YOU’RE WRONG, ADMIT IT. WHENEVER YOU’RE RIGHT, BE QUIET! ["The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit" (Proverbs 15:4).

"If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, clap your hand over your mouth! For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife" (Proverbs 30:32-33).

"Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips" (Proverbs 27:2).]

9. KEEP SIGHT OF YOUR PLACE IN GOD’S ORDER. [God can work in wonderful ways when we view our role in our marriage as completing each other rather than competing with one another. Again, remember that love "is not self-seeking."

Read Hebrews 10:24 and then look for ways in which you can encourage and help your spouse "to love and good deeds."]

10. BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR VOW. [Be a promise keeper—not a promise changer or a promise breaker.

" Unfortunately, in marriage, many couples are living as if the rules have changed. But the reality is that God's rules haven't. They were the same yesterday. They are the same today, and they will be the same tomorrow as well.

The marriage vow is still to be honored even if our spouse doesn't keep up with his/her side of the vows. As the Bible tells us, "Let our yes be yes, and our no be no."]

My prayer for you is that God will speak to your hearts to show you how to love one another “as unto the Lord.” I pray you’ll look for ways to out-serve and bless each other and make God’s ways your ways in how you live out your married lives as a living testimony to the glory of God.